Year: 2024

I guess memories pop up whenever they feel like it. This morning as I was going about my normal morning routine, I could see my dad in my mind’s eye at the emergency room trying to breathe. The scene will always be part of me. It was hard to watch my dad gasping for air.  He was laboring so hard that it made him unable to speak.  The nurse pulled us aside and told us they were going to have to intubate him. She told us to take a moment and tell him we love him. As I stood outside the room, I remember saying, “I Love you, dad.” He didn’t make eye contact with me, so I said it louder as I watched him gasp for air, “I love you, dad.” His eyes meant mine and I could tell he desperately wanted to say the same to me, but I knew he couldn’t. My heart was breaking.

After that very difficult moment, I prayed that it would not be my last memory with my father. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle watching him gasp for air, being my last memory of dad.

Days later, after every option had been exhausted, we made the very difficult decision to take him off life support. My sisters and I were singing to him as they took the breathing tube out. We had been taking turns spending the nights with him, so that night as he still hung onto life, I went home to get some rest as I had been there the night before.

I was very abruptly awoken by The Lord the next morning. I jumped out of bed, brushed my teeth and got dressed. I knew I had to get to the hospital right away.

When I walked in the room, both of my sisters were there. One of my sisters decided to go ahead and leave. In her heart she knew she didn’t want to be there when he passed. My oldest sister and I were there for the very few minutes that remained of my dad’s earthly life.

The nurse told us his breathing was becoming shallower. I found myself talking to dad and praying at the same time. I told him it was ok for him to go to heaven, that Jesus was waiting to greet him. I let him know we all love him, but that we will be ok.  It was a very precious moment I will never forget. I was there the very moment dad went to heaven. I can’t explain it, only through the witness of The Holy Spirit, but I knew He had arrived safely. I knew he was being greeted by angels. I am grateful to God for allowing me to experience such a special moment. I am grateful the first memory I told you about didn’t have to be my last with dad. Thank you, God, for answered prayer.

It’s been over 22 years since I interviewed for a job I wasn’t sure I wanted and never expected to have more than a couple years. In my professional life, I wasn’t one to be in a job for more than 3-4 years. Early in my career I was in radio and I wanted to advance. Advancement often meant moving to bigger and better. Plus, I embraced change and tend to get bored with status quo. The last job I had in radio left me disheartened and unwilling to explore other radio jobs. It certainly wasn’t in my life plan to work in an assisted living, so I assumed it would give me experience and the change I needed for the time being. Honestly, I really didn’t have any long-term plans. Having gone through a divorce and finding myself out of the career path I had originally chosen, my plans went out the window. I guess you could say I had to be broken to be willing to be open to new plans.

Looking back, I see God’s hand in everything. Not the part where I was broken. It’s not His fault nor His desire for me to have been divorced and hating my job. He was the Rock who helped me pick up the pieces.  I had been out of radio for a year and divorced for around 4 years, so I was earnestly praying for the right job and for a man to love. I had already applied at several places that didn’t pan out. I was truly at the end of my rope when my mom saw the ad in the Mansfield News Journal help wanted for this job.

I would never have applied for Wedgewood had my situation been even just the slightest bit more promising. Please understand, that is not a slam to Wedgewood. It’s just a totally different career path. The man who is now my husband didn’t even want to hire me. I didn’t have any experience in senior healthcare. His dad (Who I now call father-in-law) made the decision to give me the opportunity.

Jeremiah 29:11 says  ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I had been praying for the right job and man and God was clearing the path to answer my prayer. Everything that had happened… me losing my radio job, my divorce, and the boredom I felt at my current job, caused me to seek Him with diligence, like Jeremiah 29:12-13.

“Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart”

His answer was in no way what I envisioned…not even close. It’s important to note, Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows HIS plans He has for me, not MY plans I have for me. I’m glad I was forced to search for HIS plan. I’m glad I was forced to seek Him harder than I ever had before.

I’m thankful He knows what’s best for me. I’ve learned sometimes what I think is best is not at all what He KNOWS is best. I am thankful He knew what was best for me. His best is WAY better than I could ever have hoped or imagined. Everything lost through my divorce was gained back 100-fold when I answered an ad for a job I wasn’t even sure I wanted.